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I have experienced heartbreaking moments as a mother, especially from my oldest son. Some days it feels like he is hurting me on purpose, but then I realize what it must be like for him. He has had his heartbroken once again and I can do nothing to make it better. Do you know how hard that is, to watch them fall apart from afar. He went camping over the weekend and he and his girlfriend broke up. He seems heartbroken. I wish there was something I could do to help.

You see, my son tries to be the tough guy. He wasn't always like that, but has grown into that type of young man. I know I haven't been a perfect mom, but I have tried damn hard. I know he loves me, but sometimes I wonder. He used to be my little man and thought I ruled the world. Remembering when all that stopped is heartbreaking. He has emotionally cut me off and I can't stand it.

Part of the reason he has cut me off is to protect himself. He was devastated when I was diagnosed with MS. He was 17 and hadn't completely cut me out. After I came home from the hospital from my initial attack, everything changed. I know he has a hard time dealing with it, but it's a fact of our life. He doesn't realize the devastation he causes, creates more problems for me. We have grown farther apart over the last 2 years and I hate it.

I try and be there when he needs me, but that has become very rare. I wish I had a crystal ball, so he could see beyond today. This is why I say watching your kids grow up can be heartbreaking.